Hi, my name is Alex, I live in London and I’m currently single.
Last week I wrote about the advantages of online dating; how you can get to know someone well prior to meeting them face-to-face, and also how it allows you to really specify what it is you are looking for and what you’re not looking for! I’m now ready to jump in and experience everything online dating has to offer… so how about some first date dating tips.
Dating Tips- First impressions count
You’ll find all kinds of optimistic phrases with super upbeat messages online, each conveying positive, inspirational feelings:
“No beauty shines brighter than a good heart”
“You can create beauty with your attitude”
All well and good… but, that level of niceness rarely cuts it on a first date! When I first started dating, way back when, all I’d hear was “You’re a nice guy but…” It was only when I started challenging myself as a person, becoming more confident, more sociable and better dressed did I start to get anywhere.
When I started online dating, I had this naïve idea that as long as you didn’t mess up too badly and had some good moments, you’d done enough to earn a second date. After all, you had been contacting each other and had established a bond. It would have to be a pretty lousy opening episode not to watch a second episode of something I had high hopes for. I wouldn’t give up on a book on its first chapter or an album from its opening track.
Sure, relating dating to forms of entertainment may seem like apples and oranges. But the comparison was there for me. Ultimately, how well can you know someone after one date? Another wine catch up? Without sharing something tangible… an experience you both enjoy? I learned pretty quickly; it’s a jungle out there! And in this dating world you need to be on the lookout at all times.
Dating Tips – Dress to Impress
You need to look your sharpest as you just don’t know what it is your date will pick up on. That shirt you’re wearing, how polished your shoes are, how well you’ve arranged your scarf. One date even recognised the aftershave I was wearing! The more confident you are about your appearance, the better aura you’ll radiate.
Dating Tips – Slow Start, Don’t Panic
For all the confidence you can feel inside, sometimes dates start slowly… but don’t panic. The first date of one of my most serious relationships started badly. The date venue had the worst music you could imagine. Loud and just woeful. Far different from how it appeared the last time I’d been. Aware it was making me look bad as I had chosen the venue, I took her somewhere else. The service was slow and drinks menu not as good as my original choice of bar, but I wasn’t going anywhere else. And to top it all off, the initial conversation was awkward and full of pauses.
But I kept going, stayed positive and things changed. I made a quip that made her laugh. I quoted a line of poetry I’d always liked and as we were both big fans. Immediately that gave a new base to the conversation and we never looked back. We had a shared experience.
That’s the thing. Like a sports match, momentum can shift. A date starting badly doesn’t always mean the end.
And, of course, the reverse it true. One wrong comment can damage the mood. Just because things are going well doesn’t mean you can get reckless! Sometimes I’ve wanted to say something which I think is hilarious but I’ve caught myself before I did. Or share something that wouldn’t have been “well-timed”. You can always make that same comment a few dates later, where it could be more appropriate.
Read more from my six part dating experiences right here in London:
- Dating Adventures From London – Dating Terms
- Dating Adventures From London – Advantages Of Online Dating
- Dating Adventures From London – First Date Dating Tips
- Dating Adventures From London – When To Send The Follow Message
- Dating Adventures From London – Don’t Get Disheartened
- Dating Adventures From London – Try Epic Catch
Download the Epic Catch app today: